Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Slim, fair, good looking- Score 1!

So, what can an arranged marriage do to you apart from wreck the precious 1 or 2 hours that you manage to steal for yourself after endless hours at office, to watch sitcoms or call up friends by forcing you to go through 'profiles' and 'photos' of guys/girls you don't know?

It can be the cause of complete and total annihilation of your self-confidence.
I am not going to take sides of the male or female kind here because it is an equally humiliating experience for both. But since I have seen and heard more of the latter kind, my source of feeling of angst, sorrow, and misgiving to this whole concept stems from the experiences of the ‘fairer’ sex (what a thoroughly apt term if one considers the first and foremost point in the Basic Checklist for Arranged Marriage for Dummies)
Going by common standards, God save the poor souls who don’t come under the slim, fair and good-looking cadre (the first and foremost point in the Basic Checklist for Arranged Marriage for Dummies!).
Anyone who thought that being an ‘engineer’ is enough qualification for a girl, I’m sorry, you will now be wronged by the mighty ‘MBA’. The girl HAS to be MBA, okay I’ll cut some slack here, a ‘PG degree holder’ by 24.
So even if you have just a 3 point groom specification check list, you might have to cut it short if you’re just an ‘engineer’. So the presentably good looking becomes, not too frightening; PG degree holder becomes at least another ‘engineer’ and able to communicate properly becomes, able to communicate. Why do I limit myself to just ‘engineer’s? Because, most people want a ‘professionally’ qualified girl as their partner (followed by should not work after marriage in some cases, beat that!). Funny fact being, engineers, now that there are more engineering colleges than ‘Nair Tea Kada’s, have long ceased to be professionals.
So the next time your interview panelist asks ‘Why MBA?’, you know you have another reason nagging at the back of your head along with money-money- money as you put on a grim, thoughtful face and begin to bore his brains out with ‘passion’ and ‘destiny’ and ‘making the world a better place’ (yeah, as if!)
And again, it is not an easy ‘Swayamvar’ story for guys either. I’ll have to admit, it’s tougher for a guy than a girl in this road show (for more, refer: ). But this post just aims at avenging the slaughter of the confidence of a friend (heh).
I am not against the concept of arranged marriages (I mean, me!, I’ve had some pretty lousy crushes. I, of all people, should be grateful for the existence of such a procedure); but I’m just appalled at the effect that this method of groom/bride hunt has on the people well, ‘victimized’ by it. And rejection at the profile round is not even half bad…I’ve heard worse about rejections at subsequent rounds of selections.
One could argue that so much importance shouldn’t be attached to this rejection- selection game. But then people should stop associating the worth of a person depending on the number of profiles that have rejected/selected that person. This, I’m sorry to notice never happens. ‘already rejected by 50 people.. maybe you shouldn’t be so particular even if he/she looks 10 years older …maybe you should be okay even if you have to go to Siberia, maybe you should be okay even if he/she has a tail…’ and the standards reduce till you arrive at such a low morale that you’re just happy you’re getting married.
Who wants to get married like that?
Oh, and also, where is the love??

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