Slim, fair, good looking- Score 1!

So, what can an arranged marriage do to you apart from wreck the precious 1 or 2 hours that you manage to steal for yourself after endless hours at office, to watch sitcoms or call up friends by forcing you to go through 'profiles' and 'photos' of guys/girls you don't know?

It can be the cause of complete and total annihilation of your self-confidence.

I am not going to take sides of the male or female kind here because it is an equally humiliating experience for both. But since I have seen and heard more of the latter kind, my source of feeling of angst, sorrow, and misgiving to this whole concept stems from the experiences of the ‘fairer’ sex (what a thoroughly apt term if one considers the first and foremost point in the Basic Checklist for Arranged Marriage for Dummies)

Going by common standards, God save the poor souls who don’t come under the slim, fair and good-looking cadre (the first and foremost point in the Basic Checklist for Arranged Marriage for Dummies!).

Anyone who thought that being an ‘engineer’ is enough qualification for a girl, I’m sorry, you will now be wronged by the mighty ‘MBA’. The girl HAS to be MBA, okay I’ll cut some slack here, a ‘PG degree holder’ by 24.

So even if you have just a 3 point groom specification check list, you might have to cut it short if you’re just an ‘engineer’. So the presentably good looking becomes, not too frightening; PG degree holder becomes at least another ‘engineer’ and able to communicate properly becomes, able to communicate. Why do I limit myself to just ‘engineer’s? Because, most people want a ‘professionally’ qualified girl as their partner (followed by should not work after marriage in some cases, beat that!). Funny fact being, engineers, now that there are more engineering colleges than ‘Nair Tea Kada’s, have long ceased to be professionals.

So the next time your interview panelist asks ‘Why MBA?’, you know you have another reason nagging at the back of your head along with money-money- money as you put on a grim, thoughtful face and begin to bore his brains out with ‘passion’ and ‘destiny’ and ‘making the world a better place’ (yeah, as if!)

And again, it is not an easy ‘Swayamvar’ story for guys either. I’ll have to admit, it’s tougher for a guy than a girl in this road show (for more, refer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kkx04yuJJ80 ). But this post just aims at avenging the slaughter of the confidence of a friend (heh).

I am not against the concept of arranged marriages (I mean, me!, I’ve had some pretty lousy crushes. I, of all people, should be grateful for the existence of such a procedure); but I’m just appalled at the effect that this method of groom/bride hunt has on the people well, ‘victimized’ by it. And rejection at the profile round is not even half bad…I’ve heard worse about rejections at subsequent rounds of selections.

One could argue that so much importance shouldn’t be attached to this rejection- selection game. But then people should stop associating the worth of a person depending on the number of profiles that have rejected/selected that person. This, I’m sorry to notice never happens. ‘already rejected by 50 people.. maybe you shouldn’t be so particular even if he/she looks 10 years older …maybe you should be okay even if you have to go to Siberia, maybe you should be okay even if he/she has a tail…’ and the standards reduce till you arrive at such a low morale that you’re just happy you’re getting married.

Who wants to get married like that?

Oh, and also, where is the love??

Entering this post for an indiblogger contest! do visit: https://www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange

So high!

Posting this just for the heck of it.

Because I'm so friggin' happy today.

Ad because FB status updates will be gone and forgotten after a while.

And this is a day I don't ever want to forget. Ever. For more reasons than one :)
PS: I love you my darlings :)

PPS: I am so awesome (And this is just so that I don't forget that. Ever again!)



Pic courtesy: http://s203.photobucket.com/albums/aa108/Tine69/?action=view&current=sp_0404_beautiful_day.jpg&newest=1

Hitchcock- in black, white and red.

My normal weekend would be either working at office or refreshing my facebook page at home or at home, thinking about work and wondering why a particular module failed. Anything apart from this is not a 'normal' weekend.

So when Renie from Indiblogger called me to tell me i had tickets to watch a play at the Theatre Museum, Chennai, he did tell me that I did not 'have to' write a review for the same. But without resorting to my usual lame excuse of 'crazy mundane IT job' I decided to post this review- even though it comes a week too late (thanks to my crazy mundane IT job of course), because it was a weekend that was not 'normal' after a very long time. And thank God, Renie and Stray Factory for that.
At the outset, i must tell you that I'm not a regular theatre person. So, my review might not comply with standard reviewing regulations! Also, I do not know who played who in the play (not all of them, that is) so I will be referring to the character names here - apologies for that.
Anyway, the play is Hitchcock by the theatre group Stray Factory. It is a compilation of three short plays for 90 minutes based on the TV series 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents' and it has Hitchcock written all over it.- the acting, the sets, the colours, the lighting, the dialogues, the music and of course the plot. The behind-the-screen shadows and silhouettes was a fantastic idea (pardon me my ignorance, but is that a pretty common thing??). And keeping the theme black, white and red- brilliant!What did i like best? The music, the lighting, the Emcee and the third act.What did i like least? the second act, the predictable endings, the location of my seat and the mosquitoes outside.The opening, though a bit late, was charmingly done by the emcee. The bit that i liked in particular was his rather murderous manner of asking the audience to switch their mobiles off. His subtle humour was in true Hitchcock style and delivered with a straight face, it was perfect! -> Like! 
Play 1 was 'The Right Kind of House'. The first scene opened to what seemed like a humorous play - Sally and Mr. Hacker, though they sounded a bit too rehearsed were adorable. But as the play progressed to the second scene, the mood and nature took a complete turn and this transition was so smooth and gradual that i really did not notice the first 30 minutes fly by. I must say it was the second scene that I really liked- especially the part where Evelyn (Aishwarya Mahesh) narrates her story and the past and present is shown back to back - while the audience is given enough clues to differentiate between the time frames. I thought the conversation between Evelyn and Mr. White was successful in holding the audience's attention, and both of them were really good, although I'd tip the scales in favour of Mr. White :-)
Play 2 was 'Triggers in Leash'. Now, I wouldn't say I didn't like the play but I liked it the least. It maybe because it did not involve any murder or suspense :-) but mainly because the end was too predictable, plain and quite honestly, i thought it dragged a bit. The cowboy chauvinism was evident in the actors' posture and mannerisms, and Maggie- i would have imagined someone much older and a bit crude to play that part- definitely not someone so elegant! But I thought she did a great job- nice smug smile to the end :-)
Play 3 was 'The Motive'. Definitely the best of the lot. Predictable though it was, I thought the actors did a brilliant job. Mathivanan Raghavan and Vivek Hariharan - *applause applause*. The plot, the music, the acting, the dialogue delivery, the expressions- i thought it was perfect. Although i liked the drunk Mathivanan as opposed to the sober version :-) What i liked best was that this play looked the least rehearsed (in a good way!) and the actors seemed to be very much at ease with the characters that they played. Loved it! As they say, save the best for the last!
To sum up, I had a wonderful evening and enjoyed the play. Kudos, Stray Factory :-)

Ugly Duckling?

A few days back, a senior colleague of mine dropped me a very thought provoking mail. I was surprised at the onset but I'm glad the person did so. First, it's been a long time since I've talked/mailed about something like this to anyone. Not that it involved much intellectual stimulation; it is a topic that should come naturally to the affected, but to discuss something that had nothing to do with movies, music, career, marriage or relationships was a welcome change. Second, this becomes my first blog post in a long time :)

I am just pasting here my reply to the statement that the aforementioned colleague of mine made. The statement, in parts, was, "...not rooted anywhere and so do not have a solid idea of ‘self’..."
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I beg to differ here. Instead of seeing it as 'not rooted anywhere' I would like to believe that I find my roots in more than one place. Sure it is difficult to come up with a specific place when someone asks me where I am from. My parents are from Kerala. But I am hardly a Malayalee. Then again, I do stand by my culture and customs. I was not born a Mumbaiite but my outlook and thinking are that of a Mumbaikar. And now, influenced by that of a Chennaiite :)
In that respect, I am not fenku. I've had the best of all the worlds :)
[---deleted sentence---]
I believe the idea of self has nothing to with where you are from. It has more to do with what you want yourself to be. Which, in our cases, is easy because we have the choice to be what we want to be- to convince ourselves, if that be necessary, and also to give selective first impressions to the world- who are actually the ones obsessing with communal groupism. Among a South Indian crowd, I am a Malayalee. Among a North Indian crowd, I'm a Mumbaikar. But to myself- I am both. That way, everyone's happy :)
We need not be type casted as the 'typical' crowd. We're the hybrids! Maybe I will agree that we do not have a solid idea of native identity. But that of self, that has nothing to do with where our origins lie.
I am sorry I've ranted on like a wanna-be philosopher. But clearly, one doesn't need to possess profound erudition to talk about such things :)
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It's all perception really. One needn't feel like a misfit for too long.
One is brought up a particular way only till she/he chooses to be brought up that way. After which, maturity makes it become free will.
I do not believe that has influenced or hampered, in any way, my idea of self. I just have a problem with the society's idea of myself :P :)
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But that is my take, anyone to agree or oppose?

My question is, would it matter to someone if a friend/partner does not completely belong to one place, in every sense of the word, even if the person himself/herself is at peace with it?

pic courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/paurian/3707187124/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/paurian/ / CC BY-NC 2.0

The other life.

" Monica: What's that noise you just made?
Chandler: Oh that? That's my work laugh.
Monica: Your work laugh?
Chandler: Yeah, and if you want to survive this party, you'll need to come up with one too."

" Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like some crazed, drunken pirate.
Monica: I know you don't. But work Chandler does! "

From: FRIENDS- The One With Chandler's Work Laugh

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Now I have a work laugh too.
And a work talk (no talk rather)
And a work smile.
In fact, I'm living a different person's life at work.
And I have no idea why!
I'm hoping it will change though...

Anyway, Hi! I am Work Divya.
Not an avid blogger apparently. She'll come around. Hopefully, soon.

Bah!

Such hypocrites I tell you!
For the records, I have finally joined Cognizant and am officially a working woman! *taaliyan taaliyan*
So anyway, as I was saying, such hypocrites! Who? Well, here's who:
I am a straight girl, as in non lesbian (just stating a relevant fact, no revelations). So what do straight girls do? They look at guys; attractive guys most of the time. And that's what I did. I happened to spot one good looking guy in a batch of 270 and well, I used to look at him whenever he was around. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the dreamy 'oh-I-wish-you-were-mine' look; I know better than that! Yeah so well, what's so controversial about that? Don't guys ogle at girls almost ALL the time? Like, duh-huh! But when a girl does it, and it becomes slightly(ok, very :P) obvious, people have to create a big hullabaloo. Suddenly there are friends' of the guys inquiring about the girl as to, 'what kind of a person she is'. Ermm.. a normal heterosexual girl, thank you! Suddenly a whole bunch of the guys' batch mates gang up and act like goons when the girl is around, in an attempt to ridicule her. Suddenly the guy has on the spot bouts of extreme unnecessary attitude. Suddenly everyone in the batch thinks all the girl thinks about is the guy and everything the girl does is an attempt to get to talk to him. Hold it you buncha nincompoops! She's already bored of the guy!
Ok, so most of it is just either acts of unconditional immaturity or outcomes of lack of social evolution. But to question the intentions and may I say, integrity of a person just because she (I will not say, he because that circumstance never arises) found someone attractive? That's taking it too far. And why is that it is okay for a guy to check out girls but not vice versa? I don't get it! Such hypocrites I tell you!

The end of an Era

I moved in to a new flat last month. It's right on the main road. For the past one month, there has never been a quiet awake moment. It's either the loud share autos, or the blaring Pondi buses or the never ending two wheeler crowd...you get it.
But today, as I was sitting in my favourite spot in my room, looking out of the window, I noticed, that one side of the road was filled with vehicles moving away and the other side completely empty. Not a single vehicle, not even a bike coming towards my side. And I noticed that striking resemblance it had to my present life, however cliched that sounds.
Today is a bad bad day. So was yesterday. Sukdi left yesterday. Monk-ey has been relocated. Bhai will leave this month.
This is a bad bad month.
I've been losing my friends for the past one year. One by one, they left; some from the city, some from my life. And there haven't been anyone coming my way. And now suddenly, my best friend, Monk-ey too; and so soon.

I haven't moved out of Chennai; I won't, for a long time. But Chennai, whatever part of it I had come to love, is slowly fading away.

4 myths you were taught as a child: Busted!

Hello! Nice day, eh? Splendid indeed yeah.
Remember those sweet nice things you heard as a child that made you believe the world was a wonderful place? Things your parents/grandparents/forefathers/old wise guy of your family talked about? Well, you know what? I'd like to punch whoever it is who came up with all that shit load of crap so hard in the nose that it comes out of his/her butt hole.
1> Hard work pays: Wrong. If you're lucky; born with that lucky line on your palm your palmist talked about, you win. Else you're a goner.
2> Good things come to those who wait: NO. They don't. People who wait just get squished by people who don't. Or they end up being 40 and single. (No dearie, that's not a good thing!)
3> Nice things happen to nice people: Wrong again. Nice people waste time being nice and miss out on all the fun. So stop being such a pansy, take a deep breath and say fuck off to the next guy who jumps the queue.
4> Everything happens for the good: Ha! I don't even know how this one stood the test of times! God save the next person who quotes this to me :|

No offense to anyone, I don't intend to prove anyone wrong. I'm just thinking aloud. And I'm happy blogging about it. Cuz my parents have definitely had enough of all this gyaan from me.

Sigh...

Life was fine. Not the best possible one could ask for, but I was happy. Heck, I was very happy; with the people I loved, doing things I loved. You get the point!

Then I graduated.

Oh.

Shit.

Wait! And Smell The Roses

-->Isn’t it weird sometimes when someone you least expect opens your eyes to something you had failed to notice for a long time?

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I have a new driver now. My old driver left for some personal reasons and now we have this guy who is new to Chennai and knows nothing about the roads, the routes and the traffic. Anyone who has been to Chennai will know what I mean when I talk about Chennai traffic rules. There ARE no rules. You find your way and go ahead, any way! It is hard to find a vehicle here which does not have at least one dent on it

So our new driver, who is used to roads of Dubai and earlier, Mumbai, is extra cautious about driving, waiting for all the vehicles to pass and going oh-so-slow. I mean, very VERRRRY slow!

It was one such time when he was crawling through the roads of Chennai that I lost my cool. I was returning home from a temple and had to get home and watch a movie. And by the looks of it, I wouldn’t have got to watch the movie for a long time!

‘Anthony! Why are you driving so slowly?? You’re letting all the vehicles pass us! Can’t you go a little faster?’

‘Yes Madame, ok Madame’

A minute passed and 10 cars overtook ours.

‘Anthony!!!’

‘Madame?’

‘A little faster!’

Silence.

‘Do you have something important to attend to, back home Madame?’

‘Not particularly, but it won’t harm anyone to go a little faster, would it?’

‘Madame, how many times have you taken this road?’

‘Loads of times. This was the road I took to college, for 4 years!’

‘How many petrol bunks are there on the way?’

‘2. Why?’

‘Ok. What about temples?’

‘Quite a few, around 4 or 5.’

‘Hmmm… and which is your favourite house on the ECR (east coast road)?’

‘Err… I don’t know… never looked so closely.’

‘Madame! You’ve travelled this road for 4 years! And there are so many beautiful houses on this road. There’s the one with a lot of bougainvilleas, the one next to the Muthappa temple, the one with the high walls surrounding it, the one with the tall trees... and you can’t even think of one?’

I was stunned. I knew Anthony had never been to the ECR before. And yet, he had seen all that I had never cared to see. What was I to do hurrying back home? Watch a movie filmed in some faraway land when I didn’t even know what was there in my own?

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And then I was silenced. I saw the old woman selling jasmine strands next to the shop selling home décor and artificial flowers. I saw the women selling fish near the deserted bus stop, yelling at the top of their voices. I saw the lamps flicker at the temple and heard the bells ring. I saw a beautiful house, with a swinging chair in its balcony. It looked like somebody had just left the place; it was still swinging. I saw a woman spanking her kid who was covered in mud or what looked like mud! I saw a bunch of slum kids trailing a foreigner who was trying to dodge them and laughed at the poor lady’s panicked face. I saw a boy and a girl holding hands at the ice cream parlour and that made me smile. I saw a lot of things, and went home and forgot all about the movie.

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Sometimes it helps to go slow and enjoy what’s on the way.