Accidental Adventurist

Friend 1: She has gone rock climbing, river rafting, bungee jumping. Divya, what have YOU done?

Thought bubble over my head:
- Chased by a giant, one-eyed, thawb clad Arabian guy? Check.
- Been yelled at by a drunk cross dresser for no apparent reason and then almost been thrown a stone at by him.. err.. her. Check.
- Been approached by a random stranger with a cheesy, worn out old line- you look like my long lost girlfriend, are you her sister/cousin/relative/ghost? Check. Seriously,in THIS decade, check!
- Tumbled down a foot-over-bridge in a crowded railway station and then stopping only because the cause of halt was my leg ramming into an old man's ass and then yelled at in a language I don't understand. Check.

I don't have to DO anything. Weird things just happen to me.

Update on 20th Sept:

You know how some people are just born with a lightning bolt hanging over their heads? No? Well, welcome to my world.

I fell.. AGAIN. No big surprise I know. I mean, what do you expect from someone who just has to take up any dare thrown her way and just HAS to prove to the world that she is stupid enough to run up an escalator that comes down? 
I had to convince my doctor that I am indeed doing my MBA and contrary to popular opinion, such dumbness is a common trait everywhere. 

So this year's fall is over and I managed to not get myself too hurt this time. A few stitches on the knee, a limp in my walk and I'm good for now. Except that everyone knows how I fell and well, it doesn't take much to get me embarrassed in public now. Someone even  suggested that I be tied up, lest I should climb up and fall from a tree next. Sigh. 

Slim, fair, good looking- Score 1!

So, what can an arranged marriage do to you apart from wreck the precious 1 or 2 hours that you manage to steal for yourself after endless hours at office, to watch sitcoms or call up friends by forcing you to go through 'profiles' and 'photos' of guys/girls you don't know?

It can be the cause of complete and total annihilation of your self-confidence.

I am not going to take sides of the male or female kind here because it is an equally humiliating experience for both. But since I have seen and heard more of the latter kind, my source of feeling of angst, sorrow, and misgiving to this whole concept stems from the experiences of the ‘fairer’ sex (what a thoroughly apt term if one considers the first and foremost point in the Basic Checklist for Arranged Marriage for Dummies)

Going by common standards, God save the poor souls who don’t come under the slim, fair and good-looking cadre (the first and foremost point in the Basic Checklist for Arranged Marriage for Dummies!).

Anyone who thought that being an ‘engineer’ is enough qualification for a girl, I’m sorry, you will now be wronged by the mighty ‘MBA’. The girl HAS to be MBA, okay I’ll cut some slack here, a ‘PG degree holder’ by 24.

So even if you have just a 3 point groom specification check list, you might have to cut it short if you’re just an ‘engineer’. So the presentably good looking becomes, not too frightening; PG degree holder becomes at least another ‘engineer’ and able to communicate properly becomes, able to communicate. Why do I limit myself to just ‘engineer’s? Because, most people want a ‘professionally’ qualified girl as their partner (followed by should not work after marriage in some cases, beat that!). Funny fact being, engineers, now that there are more engineering colleges than ‘Nair Tea Kada’s, have long ceased to be professionals.

So the next time your interview panelist asks ‘Why MBA?’, you know you have another reason nagging at the back of your head along with money-money- money as you put on a grim, thoughtful face and begin to bore his brains out with ‘passion’ and ‘destiny’ and ‘making the world a better place’ (yeah, as if!)

And again, it is not an easy ‘Swayamvar’ story for guys either. I’ll have to admit, it’s tougher for a guy than a girl in this road show (for more, refer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kkx04yuJJ80 ). But this post just aims at avenging the slaughter of the confidence of a friend (heh).

I am not against the concept of arranged marriages (I mean, me!, I’ve had some pretty lousy crushes. I, of all people, should be grateful for the existence of such a procedure); but I’m just appalled at the effect that this method of groom/bride hunt has on the people well, ‘victimized’ by it. And rejection at the profile round is not even half bad…I’ve heard worse about rejections at subsequent rounds of selections.

One could argue that so much importance shouldn’t be attached to this rejection- selection game. But then people should stop associating the worth of a person depending on the number of profiles that have rejected/selected that person. This, I’m sorry to notice never happens. ‘already rejected by 50 people.. maybe you shouldn’t be so particular even if he/she looks 10 years older …maybe you should be okay even if you have to go to Siberia, maybe you should be okay even if he/she has a tail…’ and the standards reduce till you arrive at such a low morale that you’re just happy you’re getting married.

Who wants to get married like that?

Oh, and also, where is the love??

Entering this post for an indiblogger contest! do visit: https://www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange

Bah!

Such hypocrites I tell you!
For the records, I have finally joined Cognizant and am officially a working woman! *taaliyan taaliyan*
So anyway, as I was saying, such hypocrites! Who? Well, here's who:
I am a straight girl, as in non lesbian (just stating a relevant fact, no revelations). So what do straight girls do? They look at guys; attractive guys most of the time. And that's what I did. I happened to spot one good looking guy in a batch of 270 and well, I used to look at him whenever he was around. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the dreamy 'oh-I-wish-you-were-mine' look; I know better than that! Yeah so well, what's so controversial about that? Don't guys ogle at girls almost ALL the time? Like, duh-huh! But when a girl does it, and it becomes slightly(ok, very :P) obvious, people have to create a big hullabaloo. Suddenly there are friends' of the guys inquiring about the girl as to, 'what kind of a person she is'. Ermm.. a normal heterosexual girl, thank you! Suddenly a whole bunch of the guys' batch mates gang up and act like goons when the girl is around, in an attempt to ridicule her. Suddenly the guy has on the spot bouts of extreme unnecessary attitude. Suddenly everyone in the batch thinks all the girl thinks about is the guy and everything the girl does is an attempt to get to talk to him. Hold it you buncha nincompoops! She's already bored of the guy!
Ok, so most of it is just either acts of unconditional immaturity or outcomes of lack of social evolution. But to question the intentions and may I say, integrity of a person just because she (I will not say, he because that circumstance never arises) found someone attractive? That's taking it too far. And why is that it is okay for a guy to check out girls but not vice versa? I don't get it! Such hypocrites I tell you!

Making a Difference...And How!

Girl 1: Sadhana (6-7 years of age)

Father-carpenter. Mother- works as a household maid. Originally from UP. Settled in Chennai. Both brothers study in English medium schools. Father drinks up his earnings and a good share of the mother's money. The rest hardly suffices for brothers' education and two meals a day. Domestic violence is a daily affair.

Girl 2: Keerthana (5 to 6 years of age)

father-passed away. Mother- works as a household maid. 1 brother, 1 co-brother (born of the second wife of father- this fact Keerthana is unaware of), both brothers studying in English medium schools, financial status of the family is too poor to support Keerthna's education.

Girl 3: Kalaiselvi (10-11 years of age)

differently abled by birth. Father- works at a flower shop, mother-works as a household maid. 2 brothers. One working for daily wages. Much of the meager earnings are spent for Kalai's treatment. Not much is then left for her education.

Girl 4: Sridevi (11-12 years of age)

father-passed away. Mother-out of work. one sister-discontinued studies after the 8th std and works currently. Tsunami victim.

Girl 5: Jansi (10-11 years of age)

father-works at a cycle repair shop; chain smoker. Mother-works as a household maid. No steady income for the father. Domestic violence is a routine affair. Brother in the 6th standard. Meager wages for the mother.

And there are so many more similar cases. These girls were among the few who I met at the Olcott Memorial High School. This is a free school for the poor; free in every sense of the word-right from breakfast, lunch and pure drinking water to books, uniforms and bags to a free learning environment. So efficient and loved is the school that it was termed ‘a school for the poor that the rich may envy’ by goodnewsindia.com.

I had recently been to the school where I spent an afternoon with some of the girls. It was such a wonderful experience! They were all too enthusiastic to talk to me; to tell me how important the school had become for them, that if it were possible they would continue to study there for the rest of their lives. If it weren't for the school, these girls would've had to probably lead uneducated childhood lives doing household work or grow up, oblivious to the existence of alcohol/drug abuse treatments and get married off to a drunkard, who would then treat them like dirt. Thanks to this school however, now, Sadhana wants to be a doctor, Keerthana- a police woman, Sridevi- a collector and Kalaiselvi, a software engineer. Education, I believe, can turn the world around.

Apart from other things that the children thought were unique to their school, there was one person whom the children held in high esteem and who, they believe, and now, so do I, is the heart and soul of the place- the headmistress of the school, Mrs.Lakshmi Suryanarayanan. Truly speaking, there are very few people like her in this world. Let me tell you why I say this, for instance, take this one case. She gave up her job in a school in Mumbai to become headmistress of Olcott School, 10 years back. She was paid Rs.25000 then. Now she is paid Rs.5000.

I have never, in my entire life, ever, seen so much dedication and love for one’s job. She was a lovely woman, quite unlike the headmistresses I’ve seen in the past, who were either too stern or too busy to meet. A charming woman, her grey hair tied in a bun, she had an aura of sophistication with an unmistakable air of affability about her. Even while I was in her office, I saw a few children who came to her with problems such as no school bag or a bullying brother. I was amazed at how she tended to all of them with such love and patience in her voice, like a mother and her child. Mind you, I’m talking not of a class teacher; but the head of the entire school!

Excited that I had gone to the school to learn about the school and meet the children, she gave me a detailed account of all the schools’ accomplishments and how far the school has come since its start in 1894. She is also a chief trainer with the Asha Foundation. A woman who has truly laid down her life for the service of the poor and needy, this terrific woman doesn’t even consider her life a sacrifice. She modestly claims that her service is no sacrifice for she has been provided with a beautiful house within the campus of the school and above all, she believes that the love of her children and the staff means much more to her than money and material wealth. There was not even a glint of artificiality in her tone when she said so. After tea at her place, she showed me, with such childlike eagerness, all the educational artifacts like puzzles, story tags, etc that ex students of her school had made for use in the school. It was endearing to see her devotion to the cause. And needless to say, very inspirational too.

This post probably does not tell you much. Honestly, I can’t tell you how happy I was to spend time with those tiny tots who have probably gone through a lot more than most of us in life. We, the lucky ones, sitting in our air conditioned offices/homes, commuting by cars, owning cell phones and laptops are unaware of the hardships faced by these tender aged blossoms. I don’t know how to put to words, the zeal and commitment that flickered in the eyes of the headmistress. I really can’t find the right way to tell you how beautiful a feeling it was to be thanked by those girls for having visited them and shared with them an anecdote and toffee or two. Perhaps, if you got the chance to do so too, you’d know too!

photo courtesy : olcott-school-chennai.org, goodnewsindia.com

Agnostic, Are We To Be?

Where are you? We ask; has the time gone

for you to undo what has gone wrong?

Good times, blessed ways, those days no more exist;

why did you pay no heed to our calls for a tryst?

Where were you when time was not right?

When the sound of your name made people fight.

Pleas it went up in smoke and as water

Our belief in you, not once did it falter.

Prayers we made to call upon you.

Attempts were plenty, results why few?

Why did you turn a deaf ear, a blind eye?

Was enough not said; not enough did we try?

Where were you when children cried?

When our faith was being tested and tried?

Why did you let evil reign supreme

in a world with people who did believe

in you and your prowess and your deeds

of love and miracle? Why weren’t we freed

from the deplorable darkness of their sins?

Now buried deep down, our faith, it shins.

Unanswered our questions, uncertain our creed;

Unwilling we bend to their unreasonable need.

Unfathomed our trust, unearthed our fears;

Unhappy us in our worlds ugly contours.

We waited to hear your voice for days,

But your silence it loomed and so it remains.

Are we to stop hoping for the good?

Are we to stop believing in you?

Are we to accept the evil of the times?

Are we to succumb to the gross of crimes?

Or is there a day that you’ll come for us

believers amidst the cruel, dirt and dust?

Is there a day as our forefathers dreamed?

At your hands will our fates be redeemed?

Will there be a day when our words shall be stowed

away, for a new sun rise, with our faith in you, restored?

photo courtesy: nick catling, jkburtram

Victims of an inferno maze

The flowers in the vase were still ruby red;
the leaves and thorns still undead.
A beautiful thing it may have seemed,
if it weren’t for the silence ahead.

Paintings on the wall did, some story, say
of old country sides, cows, fields and plenty hay.
A beautiful thing it may have seemed,
had someone cared to see and stay.

A lovely evening festooned the sky.
Hues unknown streaked up high.
A beautiful thing it may have seemed,
but they, beneath, couldn’t see why.

Busy at plenty them puppets were.
Sad faces, tears and pristine black fur.
A dreadful thing it is, for them.
The loss of someone as pure as her.

She was, but ten, such a young soul!
Still, was death right? Even for one old?
A dreadful thing it is, for them.
Them, standing out in the night so cold.

A fire, a blast, few seconds does it last.
It rips and kills and leaves all aghast.
A dreadful thing it is for them,
who live in the shadows the dead cast.

They, who cried, did they not know?
Who killed her, and what be they sow?
A dreadful thing it is, for them
In a cruel world, how do children grow?

But to do a thing, would they dare?
To stop all terror, did they care?
A dreadful thing it is, for them,
Yet what do they do but to stand and stare.

We cry, we mourn, we grieve, we pain.
We do, not a thing and all is in vain.
A dreadful thing it may have seemed.
But who gave a thought? Who was left so sane?