Friday, May 14, 2010

Ugly Duckling?

A few days back, a senior colleague of mine dropped me a very thought provoking mail. I was surprised at the onset but I'm glad the person did so. First, it's been a long time since I've talked/mailed about something like this to anyone. Not that it involved much intellectual stimulation; it is a topic that should come naturally to the affected, but to discuss something that had nothing to do with movies, music, career, marriage or relationships was a welcome change. Second, this becomes my first blog post in a long time :)

I am just pasting here my reply to the statement that the aforementioned colleague of mine made. The statement, in parts, was, "...not rooted anywhere and so do not have a solid idea of ‘self’..."
I beg to differ here. Instead of seeing it as 'not rooted anywhere' I would like to believe that I find my roots in more than one place. Sure it is difficult to come up with a specific place when someone asks me where I am from. My parents are from Kerala. But I am hardly a Malayalee. Then again, I do stand by my culture and customs. I was not born a Mumbaiite but my outlook and thinking are that of a Mumbaikar. And now, influenced by that of a Chennaiite :)
In that respect, I am not fenku. I've had the best of all the worlds :)
[---deleted sentence---]
I believe the idea of self has nothing to with where you are from. It has more to do with what you want yourself to be. Which, in our cases, is easy because we have the choice to be what we want to be- to convince ourselves, if that be necessary, and also to give selective first impressions to the world- who are actually the ones obsessing with communal groupism. Among a South Indian crowd, I am a Malayalee. Among a North Indian crowd, I'm a Mumbaikar. But to myself- I am both. That way, everyone's happy :)
We need not be type casted as the 'typical' crowd. We're the hybrids! Maybe I will agree that we do not have a solid idea of native identity. But that of self, that has nothing to do with where our origins lie.
I am sorry I've ranted on like a wanna-be philosopher. But clearly, one doesn't need to possess profound erudition to talk about such things :)
It's all perception really. One needn't feel like a misfit for too long.
One is brought up a particular way only till she/he chooses to be brought up that way. After which, maturity makes it become free will.
I do not believe that has influenced or hampered, in any way, my idea of self. I just have a problem with the society's idea of myself :P :)

But that is my take, anyone to agree or oppose?

My question is, would it matter to someone if a friend/partner does not completely belong to one place, in every sense of the word, even if the person himself/herself is at peace with it?

pic courtesy: